he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize