I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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