Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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