I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize