I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize