ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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