awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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