Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize