why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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