just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
operation have a gay friend backfired
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
