that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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