We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize