Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize