my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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