They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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