sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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