One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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