If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What a dumb baby whore.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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