do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize