I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize