yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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