if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize