dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
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is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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