I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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