Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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