so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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