Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
how does that bad decision feel?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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