Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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