Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize