I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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