He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
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I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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