haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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