Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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