How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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