his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize