I'm sorry my penis didn't work
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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