Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize