that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize