Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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