He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize