Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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