Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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