Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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