Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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