Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
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I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
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Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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