i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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