i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
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He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
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