i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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