Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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