Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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