the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize